


on wings of faith

by SocialBookWorm



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Wings, Brief mention of animal death, Brief mention of animal disection, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Being Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Explicit Language, Family Fluff, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Sex Talk, Slice of Life, Wing Grooming, innuendos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24526177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SocialBookWorm/pseuds/SocialBookWorm
Summary: What does it mean to have faith?Logan has never seen anyone's wings, and he doubts he ever will.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders & Everyone
Comments: 11
Kudos: 156





	on wings of faith

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my_happy_little_bean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_happy_little_bean/gifts).



Logan raised an eyebrow as Roman’s loud squawk echoed through the park. Predictably, Remus’ cackle followed only moments behind. Logan glanced up from helping Patton lay out his picnic blanket just in time to see Roman tip over from a seemingly invisible source. He rolled away, sputtering incoherently as his brother raced after him.

Logan rolled his eyes and turned back to Patton. He tugged the blanket a little farther over, nodding to himself as the optimal spot to lean against the nearby tree in its shade emerged. Patton looked over his shoulder as another shout broke the calm air.

“Fucker! Get the hell back here!”

Wind brushed Logan’s hair back as Roman flew by, Remus close behind. Logan noted the jacket gripped in Roman’s hands as he twisted through the air.

“You wish, you bastard!” Roman crowed. “I’m gonna wash this if it’s the last thing I d-”

“Aha!” Patton waved the book Logan had packed earlier in his face as Remus slammed into Roman, bringing them both down from the air. “Here it is! Safe and sound.”

“A feat, considering what they got up to in the car,” Logan said, unable to keep the dry edge from his voice even as distantly amused as he felt. Patton giggled, hand coming up to cover his mouth. Logan’s own mouth curled into a small smile in response. He felt something brush against his skin, downy soft, and not for the first time wondered what his companions' wings looked like.

“If I lean back will you remain unharmed?” Logan asked. Patton’s giggles cut off.

“Oh, yes, give me just a moment.” Patton shifted, a soft rustling against the blanket the only sign Logan had that his wings had been moved.

“Thank you,” Logan said. He settled against the tree, cracked open his book, and counted down in his head. Patton cleared his throat, and Logan made a mental observation that it took him a full three seconds longer to bring the subject up this time.

“You know, I heard that there’s another specialist that moved into town,” Patton said. Logan watched him pick at the edge of the blanket. Roman and Remus’ voices rose and fell in the distance, interspersed with laughter and cursing. Logan remained silent, as he always did. “I figured you might, you know, want to check this one out?”

“My answer has not changed from the last instance,” Logan said steadily. “I am fine as I am.”

“But-”

Logan raised a hand to cut off Patton, whose mouth slammed shut.

“I do not need to see your wings to know that they exist, Patton.” Logan watched Roman trip Remus up in the distance, even as Remus grabbed onto his leg and dragged his brother down with him. “I can observe the natural world to know that there is something there that I cannot see. I can listen to the observations and studies of others to know the traits of the wings that you possess. Seeing does not exclude believing.”

“I know, I know.” Logan watched Patton blow hair out of his face, as Roman shoved Remus’ face into a puddle of mud. “I just- you know that we all love you, right?”

“You strive to show that to me on a daily basis,” Logan pointed out. Patton chewed on his bottom lip, and Logan reached out to squeeze his knee. “I am fine, Patton, and I shall remain fine for years to come.”

“Okay, okay.” Patton reached down and squeezed Logan’s hand. “You know that I just worry about you.”

“And it is appreciated,” Logan said, drawing his hand back. He glanced back at the twins and watched them roll down the hill. He felt fairly certain in saying that Remus had pulled Roman’s hair. He couldn’t tell if they had gotten around to biting each other yet. He raised his eyebrow again, “They need to be careful or-”

The two of them tumbled into the lake with a loud splash.

Logan grinned as Patton burst out into laughter. Roman surfaced first, visibly spitting water out of his mouth. Remus’s head broke the water just long enough for Roman to shove it back under. He shouted something that Logan couldn’t make out. The surface of the water rippled, and Roman took to the air, trailing water droplets behind him. Remus shot out after him, water trailing down his neck and into the air.

A rainbow bloomed behind them as sunlight refracted against the water. Patton leaned his head against Logan’s shoulder, and Logan finally turned to his reading as the laughter picked up again. Patton's wings brushed against his shoulder, and Logan wanted to picture them as bright and colorful as the rainbow against the sky.

* * *

Logan twitched at the muffled curse that came from the other room. A soft thump followed the noise and Logan sighed. He made sure to click save on his resume and stood up to see what the problem was now. 

“Truly Roman, if there’s a problem you can-” Logan paused and met Virgil’s eyes. “You’re not Roman.” Logan paused. “Or Remus.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” Virgil snarled. Logan stared at him. Virgil slowly deflated and Logan nodded when he mumbled a quiet apology. Logan cast his eyes around the room, noting the brush that had been thrown against the wall and other various tools spread out across the coffee table. Their usual furniture, already widely spaced for wings, had all been shoved to the side of the room.

Logan felt his eyes slip close.

“They all left for something,” Logan said, an exhaustion tugging at his bone.

“They all fucking left!” Virgil snapped. “Janus had work otherwise I would have asked him to groom me today. Roman volunteered but then apparently Remus did _something_ and he ran off to take care of it and that was an hour ago and I have no idea where Patton is and-”

“Virgil.” 

“-I have a job interview tomorrow and if I come in with my wings looking like a mess they’ll laugh me out the door and-”

“Virgil.”

“-if I could pay to have someone groom my wings I wouldn’t be looking for this fucking job in the first place-”

“ _Virgil_.”

Virgil’s mouth snapped shut. Logan watched the way that his chest heaved for a moment before he took a step forward. He reached out and placed a tentative hand on Virgil’s arm.

“Better,” Logan said gently, “I suggest you take a moment to breathe, is that alright?” Virgil nodded, and Logan guided him carefully over to one of the chairs, one of the ones made for wings instead of the handful with backs that he had around the house. “I’m going to get you a glass of water and once you have calmed a little we can discuss solutions.”

Logan took slow steps through the house, counting out a minute for him to reach the kitchen and get the glass. And then another minute to grab some of Patton’s leftover cookies, and a final minute to return. Just enough time for Virgil to have caught his breath. Logan handed the glass of water over and felt satisfied at the lack of shaking present in Virgil’s hand.

He sat down as Virgil took a sip and then started to nibble on one of the cookies. He threaded his fingers together and simply watched as Virgil visibly relaxed.

“Sorry about that Lo,” Virgil said quietly, setting everything aside. “I know my outbursts aren’t- aren’t the easiest to deal with.”

“Apology accepted and forgiveness granted. I understand that it must be stressful for you.” Logan paused. “I have read that ungroomed wings can also increase levels of stress.”

Virgil snorted.

“That’s a hell of an understatement. It can feel like wearing the wrong size of T-shirt if you let it go on long enough. ‘s why Janus usually has a day set aside to groom my wings. Helps with the anxiety.” Virgil chewed on his thumb for a moment. “He just- something came up with work at our usual time. I think he tried to get out of it, but couldn’t manage it. He left the apartment fucking _pissed_.”

“Understandable. It sounds as if that is time that Janus looks forward to as well.”

Virgil flushed.

“I wouldn’t quite say that,” he muttered. Logan hummed to himself. Now wasn’t the time to talk Virgil out of that particular cognitive distortion. He would simply let Janus know about it later so that Janus could handle it himself.

“I don’t believe that we are simply out of options while waiting for Roman and Remus to return,” Logan said. Virgil blinked at him. He snorted.

“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about Lo,” he said. “It’s not like there’s anyone else-” He cut off and stared at Logan. Logan shifted in his seat, aware of the sharp gaze that Virgil could wear. “You?”

“I have assisted Patton and Roman with theirs from time to time. I can not do a full grooming without being able to see the feathers, but I can at least straighten and clean to a point. It should help you relax until the others return to finish the job.” Logan gestured at the pile of pillows on the ground, used to make the grooming more comfortable.

“I don’t know,” Virgil fiddled with the zippers on his sleeves. “It just seems….”

“Counter-intuitive?” Logan offered.

“Sure, I think I know that that means,” Virgil agreed with a small lopsided smile.

“May I propose? You allow me to attempt to help and if at any point it is uncomfortable or painful for you, we stop immediately and wait for the others to come home.”

Virgil chewed on the bottom of his lip.

“Alright, fine. You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“Only if it makes you more comfortable,” Logan said. Virgil chuckled and slugged him gently in the arm. Logan ushered him to the nest-like pile and stepped back as Virgil laid on his stomach. The soft brush of air against his skin let him know that Virgil had spread out his wings. Logan carefully straddled Virgil’s back, the safest place for him to do this without being able to see the wings.

He reached out and brushed his hand against Virgil’s back until he hit his wings. Virgil shivered at the touch and Logan made sure to simply stroke the ruffled feathers at first. Logan let himself fall into the steady work of smoothing down Virgil’s feathers, placing the ones that came out at the simple action to the side, and making his way down the wings. 

The door opened and Logan realized that his stiff joints meant that he had been at this for a while. He glanced up at the sound of Roman’s voice, then down at Virgil’s pliant body. He poked Virgil’s shoulder and between the steady breathing and lack of reaction, concluded that he had fallen asleep. Logan smiled to himself and climbed off of Virgil.

Roman could finish up from here.

* * *

Logan would admit, rather readily, that he loved his friends. He would also admit that their little social circle had a tendency to be loud, full of energy, and overall exhausting. So the chance to sit quietly in a cafe- only the sound of turning pages and the soft background music to disturb them- was one that Logan always accepted when Janus offered it.

Janus slid him yet another cup of coffee, topped with just the right amount of foam. A little cream from the milk to cut the bitterness and nothing more, sometimes with a dash of sugar if Logan felt, as Patton put it, adventurous. Nothing like the blacker than black coffee that both Virgil and Janus consumed on a regular basis.

Logan eyed the other cup in Janus’ hand as Janus pulled out his laptop.

“Most research suggests that coffee is safe in moderate amounts,” Logan couldn’t help but point out. Janus met his eye and took a long pointed sip from his cup. His lips curled up into a sly smile and Logan wondered if Virgil would object to his roommate spontaneously going missing.

“Well,” Janus said slowly, “That’s good to know.”

“We are both well aware that you drink more than a moderate amount.”

“And what constitutes as moderate?” Janus asked, and Logan slid his book shut. Once Janus decided to be a stubborn fool on purpose, Logan would have to spend the next few hours talking his way around Janus’ ways with words. The most articulate people were not always correct.

If anything, Janus taking an obtuse stance made it that much easier to listen to and try to figure out what Patton and Roman tried to explain when they stumbled over and got confused with their own words. At least they weren’t trying to drive him up a wall.

“Around four cups of coffee,” Logan said.

“Coffee?” Janus raised an eyebrow, “That’s a wide definition. Are we speaking of a latte? A mocha? Drip coffee, white coffee? Which brew are we discussing? The amount of caffeine in it?”

“Four hundred milligrams,” Logan shot back.

“Black or white?” Janus took another sip of his coffee, “And there must be a time frame that this damage is being examined in.”

Logan stared at him for a long moment. Janus smiled at him, all innocence and teeth that Logan never bought. Intellectually, Logan knew that this was Janus’ round about way of telling him to back off about his health habits. Intellectually, Logan knew that Janus would try to talk circles around him and poke at the small little inconsistencies and loopholes that were there for as long as he could simply to raise Logan’s hackles, regardless of how moronic they ended up.

“You are being deliberately obtuse about this,” Logan tried to call him out, and Janus’ smile only grew into a grin. Logan resisted the urge to throw his hands into the air. “At least we can be assured that your internship at the law firm must be going well.”

“Oh, swimmingly,” Janus said, something smug in every line of his body. He tilted his head to the side. Logan tensed at the action. Janus’ verbal sparring left him excited but drained after each time, ready to dive into more research to throw in an amused Janus’ face. For a brief moment, Janus’ expression softened into something more fond and amused before slipping back into smug.

“Your wings really are beautiful,” Janus said, his voice almost a breath on the wind. Logan opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again. Caught wrong footed at the sudden change of subject.

“I thought people who couldn’t see them, didn’t have them,” Logan managed to say, glad that his voice didn’t come out strangled.

“Is that what they say?” Janus made a show of glancing down at his phone. Logan didn’t call him on the fact that it hadn’t gone off. “Ah, it seems that work needs me. This was a lovely time Logan. I shall see you this weekend.”

Logan watched him go. The way that the muscles of his back bunched up before he launched into the air. Logan slowly reached behind him, to the empty space along his own shoulder blades. He blinked slowly and tried to parse out what Janus meant rather than what he said. He never brought something like that up unless he had a point.

Logan’s eyes swept over their table, and froze on the empty spot where Janus’ coffee had been. His lips twitched torn between a scowl and a grin.

Cheater.

* * *

Rain hit the windows, a steady tapping that reminded Logan he had left his umbrella at home. A good day to head to the library, he had thought. Only he didn’t bring a bag either, having expected the rain to hold until he got home. Really it was his own fault for getting distracted and losing track of time, but he would hate for the books he picked out to get wet on the walk back. He frowned at them. It would be best to leave them and come back for them at a more optimal time.

He really didn’t want to however.

He tapped his finger on the cover of one of the books, timing it with the rain. He bit back a sigh. He took a step away from the door. He would be able to come back for the books later; the chances of them being checked out in the next week was low. He shouldn’t be this disappointed about it.

He took a half a dozen steps towards the desk, not turning when the door to the library opened.

“Logan!” He blinked and turned at the sound of Roman’s voice. Peculiar. “There you are, Pocket Protector of my heart! I think Remus was ready to declare you dead so he could loot your computer. He wants to see if you have porn on it,” Roman came to a stop next to him and waved his hands through the air. “Luckily for you, I bought us another two hours before he calls the police.”

Logan reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Did you remember to lock the door to my bedroom before you left?”

A telling silence.

“Well!” Roman let out a nervous laugh, “It’s a good thing we’re heading home then! All we have to do is get back before Remus figures that out.”

Logan frowned.

“I have to see if they will allow me to put these books back on hold first, and that may take a while.”

“Nonsense!” Roman swept the books out of his arms and began to usher him towards the door. “I don’t see why you’d return them when you just checked them out. Brilliant as you are, I doubt you managed to read these that fast. Though I would be thoroughly impressed if you had.”

“They’re going to get damaged in the rain, Roman,” Logan tried to scold even as the sheer force of Roman’s personality pushed him out the door. “The library shouldn’t have to pay for damages caused by my negligence.”

“Pish posh!” Roman nudged the door open with his hip. “They’re not going to get damaged in the rain.”

“I highly doubt-” Logan blinked at the sound of pattering rain. Roman grinned at him, wide and ridiculous even as his shoulders drew up. Logan looked up at the empty air above him, watching with wide eyes as the rain hit something and slowly dripped down around them. Right. Roman’s wings. Most other people came with built in umbrellas.

“I admit,” Roman said, “That while I am amazing and fabulous, we might want to shake a leg about walking home because wet feathers are heavy. And a pain to dry. And this position isn’t the most comfortable to hold.”

“We can always return the books.”

“Nope, too late! We’re on our way, no turning back now!” Roman nudged Logan forward again, setting off down the road towards their house. Logan tried not to trip on Roman’s feet while still staying close enough not to get wet in the downpour. It would have been easier if he could see Roman’s wings, but if he could see Roman’s wings, he’d have his own and wouldn’t have to undertake this whole procedure to begin with.

His fingers twitched with the urge to reach up and brush his fingers against Roman’s wings.

“Roman.” Logan cleared his throat and hesitated. Roman glanced down at him and hummed in response. Logan swallowed and looked away from his face. He watched the raindrops hit puddles, sending ripples across their reflections before they scattered entirely as they stepped through the water.

“I believe I have asked you this before, but would you be amiable to answering it again?” Logan asked quietly. He watched Roman’s eyes cut to him from the corner of his eye. Logan kept his face stubbornly forward. “If- if I did have wings, what would they look like?”

“Oh, Logan,” Roman breathed out. The smile sat funny on his face for a reason that Logan couldn’t name. “I can tell you they’d be gorgeous. For who wouldn’t love a nerd like you?” Roman’s hands twitched against the books he still carried for Logan and Logan turned to stare at him. It almost felt-

It almost felt like Roman had tried to keep himself from reaching out for something.

“They’d be the deepest shade of navy blue that you’ve ever seen,” Roman said, looking at something just over Logan’s shoulder. Logan wanted to sway forward at the almost hypnotic quality of Roman’s voice. “Part of them so dark you’d swear it was black until the light hits the feathers just so and then oh, oh Logan. The way the blue shines.”

Logan leaned closer and Roman wrapped his free arm around his shoulders. For a moment rain hit his back before it stopped, Roman’s wing adjusting to the change of position. Logan wanted to tell him to be careful so he didn’t strain something but the words didn’t leave his throat.

“It gradients down towards the primaries, getting more and more blue as you reach the tips but never the same bright blue as Patton’s,” Roman paused and swallowed. “And oh, the size of them, Logan. Large like Patton or Virgil’s and so soft to the touch. If you could groom them, and we all know you’d do it obsessively, how they’d gleam.”

Roman fell silent and Logan leaned into his side.

“I wish you could see them,” Roman whispered.

Logan swallowed again and wrapped his arm around Roman’s waist.

“Me too,” he whispered. “Sometimes. Me too.”

* * *

“Come ooooon,” Remus whined. “Let’s goooooo.” He kicked his feet in the air and rolled off the bench to roll around in the dirt. Logan rolled his eyes. “I can take you just _fine_ , you fucking coward.”

“I have seen the way you carry Roman on the days his wings bother him and I have no desire to be dropped in the middle of flight,” Logan said, returning to his book. Remus would calm down a bit if he didn’t give him his full attention. “I would not put it past you to forget that I cannot glide like your brother can, and a near death experience is not on my to-do list.”

“But Logan,” Remus poked at his foot and Logan determinedly did not look down at him. He could feel Remus fiddling with his shoe laces. Logan made a mental note to make sure he remembered to untie them from the juvenile prank that Remus undoubtedly pulled. “It would certainly get your heart racing and make you feel _alive_. We both know I’d never let you actually fall to your death. Even if the splat would be fun.”

“Accidents happen,” Logan said calmly. “While you no doubt have no intent to kill me it could still happen.”

Remus let out a whine and kicked at his foot, doubtless getting the clothes Roman had finally managed to wash thoroughly stained with dirt and grass. 

“But it’s so boring waiting for the edgelord. He doesn’t even do the fun sort of edgy, edging, ha! I bet you’re kinky enough to like edging.” Remus giggled to himself and Logan pressed his lips together to keep from smiling. Encouraging Remus meant that the innuendos would continue until they got to the fair that Patton and Roman had begged them all to go to.

“Virgil and Janus are the safest options for me to fly with, and Janus is playing babysitter for Patton and your brother so Virgil is the option that is left.” Logan turned the page in his book. He paused. His curiosity won out, like it always did with Remus. Perhaps this is why Janus and Roman refused to let them go camping alone together anymore. It had only been one bird, and it had already been dead. What was wrong with dissecting it for scientific learning? Logan had worn gloves for safety and kept Remus from trying to devour it raw.

All in all it had been a successful trip.

“And what makes you think that I look kinky?”

Logan looked up from his book to see Remus wiggle around on the ground.

“Oh come on, Dick in the mud, everyone knows the uptight ones like you need to relax the most.” Remus' grin grew and he waggled his eyebrows, “Plus you ride Janus and Virgil at every opportunity.”

Logan blinked at him.

“Some days,” he said slowly, “I wonder how I’ve lived with you for several years.”

“You loooooove me,” Remus sung, and kicked at his leg again, smearing dirt and mud along Logan’s pant leg. “You’d get so bored without me. Admit it, Roman’s pansy ass ideas are alright every once and a while but I get you the excitement you crave.” His laughter left Logan’s lips pressing together to keep from smiling again. “For science! I’m your for science partner, of course!”

Logan nudged him gently with his foot. Or both feet since his shoelaces were still tied together.

“Indeed.” Logan agreed, watching Remus’ grin grow into manic levels. He paused. “Sometimes, I worry.” He admitted and Remus’ head cocked to the side, hair spreading out in the grass. “We do not always express our care for you as easily as the rest of us and your love language can be difficult to interpret. But rest assured that we all care for you.”

Remus’ grin softened into an expression that rarely crossed his face.

“Roman an’ I may disagree on a lot of things,” he said softly, “But you’ve never been one of those things, Lo.” Remus’ giggled. “Besides! I have wings as big as my dick to prove that you all love me.” Remus’s shoulders wiggled against the ground. “I’m still open for that orgy if you are.”

Logan snorted and grinned at Remus.

“Maybe one day.”

Remus clucked his tongue and shot him finger guns.

“Knew you’d see it my way!”

“See what his way?” Virgil’s panicked voice cut in. Ah, Logan hadn’t noticed him approaching. “What damage control are we playing for now? I told Roman leaving you two alone was a bad idea.”

“Damage control for how much I want your cock in my ass,” Logan said dryly, putting his book into his bag. Virgil stared at him as Remus’ cackle turned hysterical.

“That’s it,” Virgil said. “You can make your way to the fair yourself.”

“But Virgil, I love you,” Logan continued completely deadpan and Remus’ laughter reached the point of silence.

“I hate you,” Virgil said. “I hate you so much. Your asses are walking, see if I don’t make you. I’m taking Janus and moving far, far away, see if I don’t.”

Logan grinned as Remus threw himself at Virgil’s feet, wailing about how Virgil couldn’t take his best friend away and he saw Janus first; how dare he take the best lay in their group away. Virgil struggled to shake him off, shouting about how they hadn’t had sex he knew that for a fact and-

Logan loved them so much he almost felt fit to burst, the warmth burning in his chest, making every day that much brighter.

* * *

The interviewer stood up as Logan did and Logan reached out to shake his hand.

“Thank you for your time Mr. Sanders,” they said. Logan nodded his head. “We’ll call you back about the second round of interviews in about a week so keep your phone on hand.”

“I will, thank you.” Logan said, gathering his bag up. The interviewer watched him with eyes that Logan had seen all his life he paused at the door and reached up to adjust his tie carefully. “You want to ask something.”

“You’re a sharp one.” They grinned. “This has no bearing on your chances of being hired, but you mentioned in your application that you can’t see wings?”

“That is correct.”

The interviewer’s eyes darted to just behind his shoulders.

“Then-” They paused, hands pressing against their desk, “Are you aware of just how loved you are, Mr. Sanders?”

Logan knew what the smile on his face looked like, had seen it directed at himself on five different faces. For years at so many different times. All soft affection and adoration. He settled his bag over his shoulder and nodded.

“It is one fact in my life that I never have to doubt,” Logan said quietly, “That I am loved beyond measure.”

* * *

“You ready?” Virgil asked, adjusting his grip on Logan. Logan craned his neck to watch the others wheeling through the sky, playing the usual game of tag. He nodded, feeling Virgil’s back and shoulder muscles bunch as his grip on Logan’s thighs tightened. The wind rushed past Logan’s face and into the air they flew.

Logan closed his eyes, feeling his stomach swoop as they rose higher and higher into the sky.

He never needed wings, not when his family would let him fly to his heart’s content anyways.

* * *

Logan had no use for the faith that brought wings to life. He had immutable facts; two that had no room for doubt or disapproval.

He loved them so much.

And they loved him back.

Nothing more, nothing less.


End file.
